“Insanity is the only sane reaction to an insane society.” — Thomas Szas

A little about myself: I bit of a ramble, but here it goes…

I look at the world and I see the various paths of destruction it might be heading.  It is not nature that’s causing the turmoil, but us.

It pains me to see how things are unfolding from the structured families to our government infrastructures.  It pains me to feel the weight of an unborn child into this world as it pains me to see the inferior and helpless carry the burden of the elites.  In all, I am angry within.  I am angry to be born into a world I never asked for merely because my father didn’t think twice before he impregnated my mother.  I am angry that I grew up too fast to enjoy my childhood like most children did.  I am angry that I became too conscious at a young age after watching my brother passed away.   I am angry that everything is about working hard to gain success.

Really though? Is everything about working, aside from our personal growth?

Though I carry this anger within me, I’ve managed to keep it at bay.  I’ve managed to isolate myself from many, regardless if they were close to me or not.  Knowing my incredible flaws and understanding my greatest fears, I constantly struggle to find a way to fit into society.  The society which I despise because of its capitalism, false advertisements, and its pointless preach on freedom.

I am not a lazy person, but I’ve come to realize that we are so bombarded by unnecessary things just to create happiness.  Who made the choice that working hard will eventually bring happiness and can finally have what you desire? Well I know I didn’t vote for this option and probably would never have because I think it’s complete bullshit.  I am suppose to go to school, ok great.  I am suppose to get a degree so I can have a decent job and benefits, great.  With the way the system is going, I will most likely go to grad school because most jobs are demanding higher level of education, awesome.  I get it! The future is looking bright for me now.  I guess I can now find the woman of my dreams, which I probably won’t have a chance with if I didn’t have a goal or a degree.  And now, her and I suppose to have children and live happily ever after in this lovely utopia called “The Land of the Free.”

For a place that is suppose to be the best amongst all other nations, it seems to be the leech of existence.  Nearly 70% of Americans are on one or more antidepressant prescriptions.  Why does it have to be this way? I believe it is because of money.  Greed is the only thing that can allow you to profit while you sit carelessly when your fellow mates are slowly perishing.  Also, for all I know, the medications might not even be necessary at all to function.  The medications probably create more problems for individuals causing them to be encapsulated in a zombie mode.

I value truth and love.  There is nothing more fundamental and profound than trying your best to be honest and genuinely loving someone without anything in return.  Not many people can say they know what it is like to be truly honest without feeling guilty or not wanting to hurt another.  Not many can say they know what love truly is because they fear that they might get hurt in the process or they are completely blinded by society as to what love should be.  Indeed truth hurts, but only if you refuse to accept it and embody it.  Love pains but it yields an amazing power, which I think surpasses any other emotions, that taps into your existence.  I believe both truth and love bring the best out of us no matter how harsh they make our reality look.  We may lose some friends, but you will gain better ones.  You may not be as happy as you think you were, but there is a sense of peace that will resonate within you.  You may not feel like you blend into society, but you are more aware than ever and chose to take the road less travelled.

Blue Eyes 6/18/2013

It is almost noon.  No sun in sight

but gloomy rainy clouds.  I feel tired

and down.  Thought if I should eat.  I might pucker

up.  Off today from work.  Got a chance to talk to her.

I feel like I’m roaming aimlessly, not in a sense

as the wind, but without freedom.  Tensed 

muscle all the time.  Mind can’t free itself.

I miss her dearly.  I miss her laying on my chest.

Those blue eyes and freckled face remain

in my mind.  I don’t think I’m going insane, 

probably just helpless.  Not looking to be saved

though.  I can do alright without having to misbehave.

I know so much about her, in and out,

but she knows little of me.  Many hours

pass thinking of her, yet I wonder if she does

the same.  Nothing alive can quench my thirst

for her.  Love, I left you alone to get away

but it seems you always find a way

to lure me back in.  I became vulnerable

and open once again.  I find myself in a bubble

of my own universe in an uncertain world.